I’ve already written a letter to the person who caused me the most pain have nothing more to say to her.

Dear person I hate the most #1,

You are illogical. Forreal. It doesn’t make sense when you get so angry at me or my friend for commenting on your Facebook with nothing but a suggestion as to what the person on the other side might have been thinking. Just because we’re saying what they think they felt does NOT mean that we are criticizing your response to that person. And when we tell you straight up that we’re not trying to be mean and when we explain that we had no cruel intentions, it does not make sense for you to attack us. I don’t understand what your problem is. I don’t understand why so many people think you’re so cool. Though, I guess it makes a little sense then almost all of your friends are younger than you because people who are actually your age are too mature for you. I wish more people would see your immaturity; too bad it’s masked by your “deep” metaphors and your “brilliant” language. And it’s annoying when you toot your own horn. Seriously, it is. I mean, I’m proud of my accomplishments, and there’s nothing wrong with that…but you’re really gonna MAKE people comment on your stuff because you want them to compliment you? That’s kind of sad. And I hate how you’re so full of yourself and think you’re better than everybody else. And I hate how you act all high and might about other people racist when you continually make comments about white people are inferior. Just because you’re racist about white people doesn’t mean you aren’t racist. And just because you’re related to someone white doesn’t mean you aren’t racist. You racist. And you need to stop being deceitful to your girlfriends. I know you justify yourself by thinking “nothing really happened,” but if you’re doing something that you feel the need to hide, if you’re doing something that you’d be afraid to explicitly relay to your girlfriend, you’re doing something wrong. Sucka.

Dear person I hate #2,
I had plenty of reason to hate you before, but I didn’t. When everybody else was criticizing you, blaming you, and just overall hating on you, I reached out to you and told you that I didn’t think it was all your fault. When I was uncomfortable seeing your face, when I was uncomfortable with her seeing your face, I still wanted to act cordial because I wanted to put the past in the past. It was YOU who decided to bring everything up again. It was YOU who judged ME. It is completely unfair of you to assume that I must have been acting a certain way because of the things YOU did. Just because you were a jerk doesn’t mean that I was being a jerk to you. And you say you don’t want to put words in others’ mouths, yet you chose to ruin my Christmas Eve by throwing nothing but assumptions what was in my mouth…
(And now that I think about it, I wish I could stick my dick in yours. In the paraphrased words of Lil’ Wayne eff what you say.)
And yet, I still didn’t hate you. I was sad. Disappointed in myself. I spent hours crying, wondering in despair where I had gone wrong. I tried so hard to be a good person to you, and yet you called me “rude,” “foul,” acting as if I was anything BUT good. And it hurt. A lot. I felt as if I had failed. I felt horrible. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t thought we were on good terms.
If I had hated you, I wouldn’t have cared.
Ironic, isn’t? How the same letter in which you speak of loving her is the letter that made her hate you? That the person you once made so weak by feigning love is the same person who gave me the strength to hate you, too?
Does it annoy you? That she loves me now? Does it bother you that the girl whom you once called the “light in the darkness” is now sinning in the name of lesbianism? XD. I also think it’s ironic that you’re in a Facebook group that approves of allowing homophobic language in public settings, and yet the girl to whom you gave a “promise ring” to is now a victim of it…but it’s okay, because now she has a bombtastic girlfriend. And you don’t. You lost her, homie. And to me, of all people. Did you think when you wrote that letter she would be appreciative? Were you surprised to see that she chose me over you?
I think it’s funny how you act so holier than thou, Arthur Dimsdale, when you’ve made so many mistakes that I, and especially not Jesus, would ever dream of making. How do you like breaking girls’ heart? Let me guess: four at a time? Punk. I don’t even know how you got those girls to fall for you. I oughta kick you in the nuts. I don’t know where that came from, exactly, but I should.
I don’t care if you’ve repented, but you haven’t served your penance as far as I’m concerned. Your existence is proof of karma’s lack. Unless it’s just building up and waiting to flood. I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to be sad. I want something to slap you in the face with your own stupidity. I don’t want something to hurt you, I want something to make you realize that I was right all along. I don’t want something that would make you ask her for forgiveness, because I know you already have…I want something that’ll make you realize that you don’t deserve forgiveness. And saying, “I know I don’t deserve it but I hope that you’ll forgive me” doesn’t count, because if you really knew you didn’t deserve it, you wouldn’t WANT her forgiveness. Unless you’re the kind of person who likes to get things even if he doesn’t think he’s earned it. And if that’s the case, that’s just more proof that you don’t have as much virtue as much as you would claim to.
I know if you read this, you’d probably just take it as proof of what an angry, immature, “rude and foul” person I am. And that’s one of the things that irritates me the most about you: you have no faults. You think you did this or that wrong, but you ever admit that maybe something about YOU is wrong. If someone said to you, “You’re a cheater,” you’d think to yourself, “I cheated on her…and three other girls…BUT I’m sorry blahblahblahblah. And the person who called me a cheater is just spiteful.”
On a related note: you keep talking about how the past is the past and don’t bring it up you made mistakes before you know blahblahblah…but the only person who really cares about the past is YOU. You always blame it for everything. You say that people didn’t want to be your friend because of what you did in the past, and even though I think deceiving women’s hearts is a good reason to not be friends with someone anymore (Shakira even thinks it should be illegal), that ISN’T the only reason people drifted away from you: it’s because of YOU. It’s because you’re arrogant and presumptuous (and not that cute), so when you say, “Yeah, stop bringing up the things I did wrong to her,” well guess what? I never did! She would just talk about how much she hates you because of YOU, not because of what happened five years ago! It’s not that we don’t like what you did half a decade ago, we really just don’t like YOU. If you were a good person now, we would have forgotten about it. In fact, we did forget about it! Scroll up to the part where I talk about trying to be nice to you to refresh. But you decided to be an illogical jerk, so we only bring up the past when we’re already talking about other things we don’t like about you anyway. Yadidi?
I’m so happy you don’t hurt me anymore. I’m so happy you don’t hurt anymore. I hope one day you wake up, look at the person lying next to you, and remember the face of the girl you hurt so many years ago. The girl you could have still been friends with, had you not decided to write her girlfriend a letter on Christmas Eve that made her girlfriend cry and made her hate you for it. The girl who you used to so easily cast aside, hurt, make feel worthless…she doesn’t exist anymore. She’s strong, now. She knows you don’t love her, she knows you never did. And she doesn’t give a fck because she knows you’re not worth one, not even one given by a cheap whore in an alley. But I am lucky enough to have the honor of doing what you didn’t (not the cheap whore, the loving her). And I treat her right. She’s amazing and beautiful, smart, funny, and nice as hell if Hell is nice. I hope you realize what you missed out on. I hope you realize what you lost. I don’t hope you regret losing her, because I’m sure you already do, but I hope you regret being the kind of person that made you lose her.
I’m sleepy now.
P.S. I think it’s funny how you said you thought deleting people on FB was immature right after your girlfriend deleted mine off of Facebook and then months later you deleted her as well.